Dear Ms. Stone, If you have inside information that proves it's actually 1992 and not 2008, kindly forward it to my immediate attention. In the meantime, I'm gonna have to ask you to put those things away. Yeah, you're at Cannes - Woo-hoo! But, please, don't make me unleash the Jean-Claude on you. The man can still kick pretty high after he takes his blood thinner and enjoys a warm breakfast of Quaker Oatmeal. (I'll safely assume you're enlightened on the importance of regularity.) In closing, thanks for all the boners when I was in junior high and always had to go to the chalkboard. Finally, I had something to complement the acne. C'est la vie! The Superficial Writer

When Star Jones is looking better than you, you're doing something wrong!!!

Sharon Stone brought out her tranny regalia for the amFAR benefit in Cannes on Thursday.

Starzilla, on the other hand, looked elegant and movie star-like.

We need Barbara Walters to kick us in the head cuz this shit ain't right!

[Photos via Getty Images.]

Brangelina, who????

The hot couple of Cannes on Thursday was Madonna and Guy Ritchie.

Mr. & Mrs. attended amfAR's annual Cinema Against AIDS benefit.

Note to them:

When putting on a happy face, try and look happy!!!

[Photo via Getty Images.]

As we mentioned last month, Yoko Ono was going to court to prevent the release of a tape featuring footage of John Lennon smoking weed, writing songs, and even discussing putting LSD in President Richard Nixon's tea, from going public.

The footage was taped by Ono's ex-husband Anthony Cox in 1969 for a documentary he planned titled Portrait.

Ono wanted to prevent World Wide Video from releasing the footage it purchased from Cox back in 2000.

World Wide Video planned to release the footage as a two hour film about Lennon, titled 3 days in the life. However, that's never likely to happen as crazed Ono seems to have won the court case.

A U.S. District Court Judge in Boston has ruled in favor of Yoko.

World Wide Video, however, says it purchased the over nine hours of footage for more than $1 million after all the legal costs and fees were covered.

Ono insists she owns the rights, since she claimed she purchased the tapes from World Wide Video through a Florida man.

The case gets a bit confusing around this point, but World Wide Video claims the tapes were stolen and then sold to Ono illegally.

They then sued Ono for copyright infringement in a bid to publicly show them.

The judge disagreed, however, and said, "What the plaintiff suggests just doesn't fit. It seems to me the defendant's motion is well taken because there was no infringement."

The judge also added that WWV waited too long to look into what happened to the stolen tapes which Ono registered back in 2002. WWV claim they didn't discover Ono even had them until they received a letter from her attorneys last year.

The judge added that "The statute of limitations bars the claim as well. The circumstances here really favor the defendant, not the claimant."

Joseph Doyle, the attorney for WWV said the case is still pending as the judge has yet to rule on several other aspects of the case. Doyle insists that the question of who owned the videotapes has not been resolved.

We deserve to see the footage, especially if WWV purchased it legally from the original owner of the videos.

What's so wrong with a little pot smoking???

[Image via WENN.]

Here’s Keeley Hazell at another award event once again not revealing all that much. She’s becoming like a bad hot girlfriend who you want to dress up like a slut to show off to your friends, but she’s only willing to do so in the privacy of your bedroom. ...

Here’s Elizabeth Hurley at the Asian Woman of the Year Awards and guess what? She’s showing off her awesome cleavage. Yes, it’s a little redundant these Liz cleavage posts, but they’re still the best set in all Hollywood (yes, even better than Scarlett’s), so it’s hard not to want ...

Aria Giovanni Picture Moment Aria Giovanni Pictures Aria Giovanni Picture Moment Aria Giovanni Picture Moment Celebrity Pictures

Here’s a new song by Hot Rod (a member of 50 Cent’s G-Unit) featuring Tila Tequila rapping about how she likes to f%ck suck c%ck till she hurls and how she’d like to f%ck everybody in the world. No joke! It’s a little excessive but that’s my kind of ...

-Miranda Kerr is today’s tonight story -Rebecca Loos gets loose -Hooters beer trick -Sara Paxton packs heat -Scarlett Johansson does italian GQ -Sexy Carolina Marconi moment -The best of The Office -Hot college beach babes More Tuna: Charisma Carpenter Pictures Michelle Trachtenberg Pictures Rocio Guirao ...

I’m pretty sure this is some indie film that will never hit theatres but it has Joss Stone making out with some chick. They’re not naked so I guess it’s just a friendly kiss because that’s how girls do it these days. Well, at least the girls I hang ...

Kimmy Stewart Gets It On With Jude Law (DS nsfw) Lindsey Lohan Is Too Good For Reality TV (Dlisted) Jessica Biel Is Engaged And Pregnant? (IDLYITW) Gwyneth Paltrow Is The Best Blond At Cannes (Lainey Gossip) Victoria Beckham Gives Road Head (Pink Is The New Blog) Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt Have ...

Here’s Jessica Simpson and some friends chilling out in Cabo. Now although her friend is in a bikini, Jessica isn’t and I’m pretty pissed off about this. Who does she think she is? Anyway, I won’t get my panties in a bunch just yet. She’s still there, so give ...

Fergie performed on the Today show and did a cover of Heart’s Barracuda. I have to say it’s probably the funniest performance of all time and I’m not the only one who’s laughing at it. Check out the dude in the audience. Anyway, watch her butcher the song ...

Masuimi Max Picture Moment Alley Baggett Picture Moment Jennifer Walcott Picture Moment Kayleigh Pearson Picture Moment Celebrity Pictures

Madonna was at the I Am Because We Are premiere in Cannes yesterday wearing a see-through dress and showing off her old ass nipples. I don’t know what prompted this but I guess her over-inflated ego still considers herself hot. Well, she’s not and she wasn’t 10 years ago. ...

Here’s Ivanka Trump at the 100th Annverisary of Milk-Bone. And speaking of bones, with Ivanka’s nipples popping out those dogs are going to be damn happy with all the new bones she’ll have created, if you know what I mean, And if you don’t, don’t worry, it’s a lame ...

-Victoria Silvstedt does PC mag -Ultimate summer beach babes -College cutie shows Celtic pride -Rachael Taylor is too sexy! -Jessica Alba is married -Beach volleyball babes -The GTA 4 board game -Hot club body painting More Tuna: Kelly Brook Pictures Kristin Cavallari Pictures ...

Christina Milian Is Super Cute! (The Bastardly) Kirsten Dunst Got Punched In The Eye (IDLYITW) Xtina Talks About Her Tits (Dlisted) Lydia Hearst Skanks It Up In Lingerie (DS nsfw) Eeesh! Goldie Hawn Makes Out With Mystery Man (Lainey Gossip) Natalie Portman Is A Che Chick (Just Jared) Jessica ...

Here’s Shayne Lamas, who is the winner of the Bachelor. I figured I’d post these bikini pictures of her because I think the 5 of you who watch the show will appreciate them. Even though they’re staged, she’s kinda hot and she caught a fish. A big one. It’s ...

I don’t know what kind of game Jessica Simpson is playing but I don’t like it. Sure, we almost saw her topless here while she’s checking out her tan lines but what’s with the no bikini showing? Is there something she’s hiding? Did she gain some comfort weight while ...

Here’s the winner of Maxim’s Hot 100, Marisa Miller at the Maxim Hot 100 Party. Unlike last year, the winner actually showed up to the event and I’m glad she did because I can never get enough of Marisa Miller. The girl is absolutely stunning and as you can ...

No, you’re not witnessing another Britney Spears incident, it’s just Cameron Diaz on set of her film My Sister’s Keeper. It’s a story about how she shaves her head to support her daughter who’s battling leukemia. So expect to see this as one of next year’s Oscar nominees, because ...

I have no clue what this show The Shot is, but it’s the second time I have posted promo pictures of Miranda Kerr, Marisa Miller, and Alessandra Ambrosio in their bikinis. All I want to know is, is it still on air and how come no one has ever ...

Finally, the Paparazzi are beginning to catch on! They’re realizing there’s more to Hollywood than Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan. Here they are at LAX getting some pictures of Mila Kunis. Now the only thing Mila needs to do is spice up her wardrobe and we’re in ...

Posted by Bossip Staff

Well, well, well - we wonder if it’s true:

“Usher and his wife Tameka have split! Sources close to the singer have confirmed the separation from his wife of only 9 months. They have a 6 month old son Usher Raymond V.

An insider claims that the pair actually split 3 weeks ago. Reportedly Usher is torn on whether to make ‘an official’ statement or let the news leak. His new album is being released in less than a week, his second video hit the internet today and his album ‘leaked’ yesterday. Timing anyone?

Sources have said for months that Tameka is very controlling, doesn’t get along with Mama Usher and that this breakup was inevitable (and a sham to begin with). There’s also rumors floating around that baby Usher V is not his. Yikes! Where’s Maury when you need him?”

Is it really over between the ill fated pair? Only time will tell. SMH.

Source

Image via Splash

Shout out to Joy!

Yes, she really is wearing a hair clip with the name "Blake" on it.

Gag us with Pete Doherty's dirty fingers!!!!!

Amy Winehouse may be cracked out, but she's still sweeping up awards.

Wino walked away with the award for Best Song Musically and Lyrically for Love is a Losing Game at the 53rd Ivor Novello Awards on Thursday in London.

Hosted by the British Academy of Composers and Songwriters, the Ivors celebrate excellence in songwriting.

In true Wino style, she arrived too late to collect her award, so her dad (Mitch pictured above with Wino mom Janis) had to accept it on her behalf.

"She's sorry she can't be here but she sends her love," dad of Wino said. "She is getting better and she'd like to send her love to everyone at the Ivors who first recognized her talent."

Wino eventually showed up!

Two of our dear friends took home honors as well. Mika was named Best Songwriter at the ceremony and Diane Warren received a special international award.

Congrats!!

CLICK HERE for the full list of winners.

[Image via Getty Images.]

Best song musically and lyrically: Love is a Losing Game, Amy Winehouse
Best contemporary song: People help the People, Cherry Ghost
Best television soundtrack: Oliver Twist
Best original film score: Atonement
PRS most-performed work: Shine, Take That
Best Selling British song: Beautiful Liar
Album award: In Rainbows, Radiohead
Outstanding song collection: Gabrielle
Classical music award: Jonathan Dove
Inspiration award: Jazzie B
International achievement: Phil Collins
Outstanding contribution to British music: Chris Difford and Glenn Tilbrook
Songwriter of the year: Mika
Lifetime acheivement: David Gilmour
The special international award: Diane Warren

Cameron Diaz is currently filming My Sister’s Keeper in which she plays a person with leukemia. Hence, the baldness. Hello, Oscar. IMDB says:

This movie is based off of the book “My Sister’s Keeper” by Jodi Piccoult. This is from the back of the book: “Anna (Abigail Breslin) is not sick, but she might as well be. By age thirteen, she has undergone countless surgeries, transfusions, and shots so that her older sister Kate can somehow fight leukemia that has plagued her since childhood. The product of preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD), Anna was conceived as a bone marrow match for Kate-a life role that she has never challenged . . . until now. Like most teenagers, Anna is beginning to question who she truly is. But unlike most teenagers, she has always been defined in terms of her sister-and so Anna makes a decision that for most would be unthinkable, a decision that will tear her family apart and have perhaps fatal consequences for her sister she loves.

Uh, yeeaaa…. FAIL. A better idea would be to make that cap on her head into a cone shape. Then she can giggle and say, “Take me to your parental units.” To which I would reply, “If I did not fear incarceration from human authority figures, I would terminate your life functions by applying sufficient pressure to your blunt skull so as to force its collapse!” Except, I wouldn’t be giggling.

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Admittedly, I give Us Weekly a lot of shit, but every once in a while they come across an exclusive that knocks my socks (and pants) off. This time the crack reporters have the inside scoop on Christina Aguilera's bra size. I tried to beat them to the punch, but Xtina's team took evasive action - by sending Jordan Bratman out to talk to me for five hours about why Kyle Raynor is just as cool as Hal Jordan. (Note: He's not. Please kill me.) Anyway, here's the exclusive details on Christina's jug straps:

In the interview, she also finally addresses the famous growth in her chest that came from breastfeeding.
"It's kind of hilarious! I've never fit into an E-cup before," she tells Us. "I look at my husband and go, 'Guess what size this bra is?' And when I tell him, he's just amazed. We keep the tags that prove it, to look back for memory's sake!"

Other things that Jordan Bratman is amazed by: 1. A real live girl actually touched his ding-dong - and he didn't get cooties. 2. Guillermo Del Toro is directing the Hobbit ZOMG!! 3. That magic lamp he found did have a genie it. Sure, the third wish yielded him a bride, but he regrets wasting his first two wishes on a working Batmobile and a pristine copy of Action Comics #1 - which he foolishly had Dean Cain sign in a Starbucks. Smooth move, Ex Lax!

What is it with the girls from The Hills???

They can't ever seem to find NEW men.

They always go back to their damaged goods!

Lauren Conrad is still "spending time" with Stephen Colletti.

The pair went out club-hopping in L.A. on Wednesday night.

What's more sad: that he's only hangin' out with her to get screen time on The Hills or…

That she knows this and still hangs out with him anyways????

Desperate and desperate!

[Image via Buzz Foto.]

Shania Twain recently broke it off with her husband, Robert “Mutt” Lange, after he cheated on her (song coming soon). Today, PEOPLE posted a picture of the temptress that seduced Mutt away from Shania. Her name is Marie-Anne Thiébaud and she was a manager at Twain and Lange’s estate in Switzerland and their secretary and she’s incredibly hot and, what? Marie-Anne is on the right and Shania is on the left? Dear god, what have you done Robert, what have you done?!

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According to reports, the prosecution brought out four people (including two relatives) on Wednesday to ID the gal in the sex tape central to the R. Kelly child molestation case.

They all testified that the woman who's been denying involvement is basically lying and that she was between the ages of 13 and 14 at the time the footage was shot.

The alleged victim's best friend was one of the witnesses.

"I know her like the back of my hand," the BF testified.

She also said the girl's haircut indicated she was 14 on the tape, "We got our hair cut the same way together," she says. "It's a mullet. Short at the top, long at the back."

The BF also identified the man in the video as Kelly.

But lawyers for Kelly hammered the prosecution witnesses, suggesting the tape was doctored and part of a plot by relatives to get money from the singer.

Technology is so good these days — Can't the prosecution have the tape authenticated?

We're still inclined to believe R. is guilty, more or no mole!

What do U think???

Spotted: Queen Latifah having lunch at Sushi Samba in Miami Beach on Wednesday.

All by herself!

Awww. Sad.

What happened to her gf????

I'm not sure whether these Uma Thurman bikini pictures are new or old, and I really don't care. I haven't seen them before, and that's good enough for me. Also good enough for me: Uma Thurman's boobs. Sure, gravity...

According to Charlie Sheen's friends, Denise Richards is a big fat liar.

No surprise there!

The fame-seeking, money-hungry, desperate attention whore is making it seem like she's hard up for cash, when she's really been making millions by not even lifting a finger.

After her split from Sheen, she received $60,000 a month, tax free, for two years in alimony.

Almost $1.5 million in two years!!! For doing nothing!

Oh, and she ALSO receives $52,000 a month, also tax-free, in child-support for her two kids with Sheen, Lola and Sam.

Damn, if we were Sheens' attorneys, we'd want to see monthly receipts for the kids that add up to $52k a month.

Puh-lease!

Turns out Richards makes well over $600k a year just on child support.

Oh, and it's reported that she also gets a piece of Sheen's show, Tow and a Half Men, which eventually will give her up to $25 million!

Damn.

Sheen needed a better pre-nup!

So, aside from ALL that money, Richards has been going media-crazy promoting her new reality show, It's Complicated, which will debut this weekend on E!

We don't recommend you waste your time watching it.

And, while on all the media programs, like The View and Larry King Live, Richards commented that she was doing the show to make money to support her children.

What, $52k a month isn't enough?!?!?

A friend of Charlie says Richards "gets more than enough money from Charlie to never have to work, much less do a reality show that exploits the kids."

Very true.

A rep for Sheen said on his behalf, "The mere fact that she continues to publicly discuss and harass both Brooke and me three years after our separation, which for the record is longer than the actual length of the marriage, is beyond desperate and speaks volumes."

Word!

Team Charlie!

[Image via WENN.]

Derek Jeter has dated an impressive list of starlets throughout the years. He’s purported to have ran his penis through Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Vanessa Minnillo, Adriana Lima, Scarlett Johansson, Mariah Carey and Jordana Brewster and may have given each of them herpes, the gift that keeps on giving. Now, Page Six says Derek Jeter is tearing up Friday Night Lights star, Minka Kelly’s, vagina.

Though Kelly’s publicist put the kibosh on our query about a male suitor at the Empire (the rep told Page Six Kelly’s dad was the only guy with her in the hotel), OK! magazine reports the “Friday Night Lights” actress was wined and dined at Kobe Club by Jeter on Monday. “She’s still playing the field,” one source told us.

It’s not entirely clear why women continue to flock to Derek Jeter when there are rampant rumors about him and herpes. You’d think celebrities would be put off by that, but no, it seems they’re rather fascinated by sores on their lips and genitals which can last two to twenty one days. This must be a new Hollywood fad. Had I known this, I wouldn’t have chosen to remain chaste for all these years. Yea, that’s right, I’m virginal not because I’m socially inept or that women are creeped out when I ask them to role play my civil war porn fantasies, but because I CHOSE to be.

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The downwards trend is over!

Though ratings for American Idol have been much lower this year, compared to previous seasons, last night's finale was up 4% from last year's finale.

A whopping 30.6 million people tuned in Wednesday night.

Still, it's not all good news for Idol.

Viewership for this year's finale was down amongst the highly-coveted 18 to 49 year-olds.

And, last night’s season finale was down 16% from the 36.4 million viewers who watched the season finale two years ago.

[Image via WENN.]

A couple months back (almost exactly), we posted some very hot Miranda Kerr, Marisa Miller, and Alessandra Ambrosio bikini pictures from a reality show called The Shot. And now some more Miranda Kerr, Marisa Miller, and Alessandra Ambrosio bikini...

Chances are you've heard the reports that Shania Twain's 14 year marriage to producer Mutt Lange is in the crapper. Turns out ol' Mutt has been seeing another woman, if that's what you want to call the thing standing next to Shania. (I'm going with "Jabberwocky.") If that's not enough, the lady in question Marie-Anne Thiebaud was also a close friend/employee of Shania, according to People:

"Mutt and Marie-Anne left their spouses for each other and are still in a relationship," says one source, adding that the Swiss employee was a fixture in the household Twain, 42, and Lange, 59, shared with their son, 6-year-old Eja D’Angelo.
"Their two families would vacation and spend holidays together," says the source. "Shania considered Marie-Anne one of her best friends."

Wait, that Marie-Anne chick is only 37 yet looks like 42-year-old Shania Twain's mother? That God is one funny bastard. But, seriously, does draft beer and comic books shoot out of her ears during sex? Because, otherwise, I'm at a total loss here. Or, wait, is Mutt Lange blind? That's it isn't it? Dude's blind. BAM! I should solve crimes.

Chances are you've heard the reports that Shania Twain's 14 year marriage to producer Mutt Lange is in the crapper. Turns out ol' Mutt has been seeing another woman, if that's what you want to call the thing standing next to Shania. (I'm going with "Jabberwocky.") If that's not enough, the lady in question Marie-Anne Thiebaud was also a close friend/employee of Shania, according to People:

"Mutt and Marie-Anne left their spouses for each other and are still in a relationship," says one source, adding that the Swiss employee was a fixture in the household Twain, 42, and Lange, 59, shared with their son, 6-year-old Eja D’Angelo.
"Their two families would vacation and spend holidays together," says the source. "Shania considered Marie-Anne one of her best friends."

Wait, that Marie-Anne chick is only 37 yet looks like 42-year-old Shania Twain's mother? That God is one funny bastard. But, seriously, does draft beer and comic books shoot out of her ears during sex? Because, otherwise, I'm at a total loss here. Or, wait, is Mutt Lange blind? That's it isn't it? Dude's blind. BAM! I should solve crimes.

Adam Sandler revealed to Jay Leno last night that he and his wife are expecting another baby.

Uhmmmm….

Let's hope this kid isn't as ugly as Sandler's other child, Sadie, age 2.

Yeah, there, we said it!

Perez looks in the mirror a lot. He knows ugly when he sees it and that kid is ugly.

And fat too!

[Image via WENN.]