Celebrity Online NewsOnline Celebrity Gossip and News

With all the anxiety, frustration, and sadness that accompanies the end of football season (that new Madonna song is STILL stuck in my head), let’s bid farewell to the 2011-12 NFL Year on a – ugghhh this is hard – positive note. Swallowing our pride and our own football disappointments, let’s all bask in this list of 5 Very Adorable Photos From The Giants’ Victory Parade (Click Any For Full Size): 1. No relation to Sir Not Appearing In This Film. 2. Truly our generation’s Willow Smith. 3. Those kids are enjoying that fence more than we’ve enjoyed anything in 10 years (besides Breaking Bad) 4. Symbolic of drifting adolescence, or something. 5. Still nothing more adorable than very thinly-stretched pun signs, and there never will be. Bonus: One scary-ass fan too, just so we don’t wrap things up too positively. Farewell, NFL Season! I can’t wait to resume spending my Sundays productively by re-reading my own old Tweets every week from 1-7:30 pm. Just kidding! I do it til like 3 am. (Pics via Getty Images)

How does your cat go to the toilet? Because if it’s anything as dignified as this cat, sounds to me like your cat could easily be elected to PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. Look at how handsome this guy is. How evolved. I can almost picture Robert Redford using the facilities in much the same way, maybe while reading the United States Constitution. But if you think this cat looks classy now, just wait until you see what he looks like when dressed up like the Monopoly Man, ahead. Yes, the brilliant users at Reddit decided this little guy didn’t seem fully finished without the classic accessories a dandy cat such as this deserves. Monocle… top hat… Professor’s Bow Tie. But really, I have never seen anything this classy in my whole life. Get this little bastard some mustard, stat. (via Reddit)

Dlisted provides this GIF from last night’s premiere of The River on ABC. It requires no context: Nothing to see here, just some sort of doll lady during around PSYCHE NAWW IT’S A MONKEY RAWWWRRRRR!!! You got MONKEYFACED’D!! I’ve seen a million ads for The River and had tuned them out to this point (I usually don’t start watching a show until it’s at least 1 1/2 season in and I’ve heard from at least two regular friends, two work friends, and the internet that I NEED to see it), but a little monkey mask goes a long way, and now I’m intrigued. Does this happen in every episode? Can I get some sort of guarantee that this and/or something comparably hilarious will definitely happen? Cause I’m not watching this thing if it’s not very good or very bad, and none of us have any use for an ‘ok’ tv show when there’s like 17 must-see things we need to catch up on at any given time. The last thing I need in my life is, like, NCIS: Notmonkeyface. Deal?

Jake Gyllenhaal was spotted looking handsome when arriving at the Tegel International Airport in Berlin, Germany. But what’s that we see? In his hand? Looks like a tiny yellow floral bouquet. Hmm… where could Jake have picked up such a delicate gathering of flora? Just who could have handed him such a gentle yet manly arrangement? You will never believe the answer… find out ahead. IT WAS THIS RANDOM OLD MAN Splash News doesn’t identify who this man is, so we can only assume the obvious: This is Jake’s #1 German fan and clearly not anyone related to him. Good news for both parties… looks like the flowers worked: CUTE.

Here Is Every Single 2012 Academy Award Nominee In One Photo Click To Enlarge As the incomparable Richard Lawson put it, it’s like a fun celebrity version of “Where’s Waldo Minute Kristen Wiig.” Click on the above version to count up how many of the nominees you can recognize. I counted 21 plus the Gold Man himself. I also gave myself a headache looking at it. Win/win! Those of you too lazy/blind to go through the entire list, we’ll save you the trouble and post the only thing worth noting: NICK NOLTE.

Here’s a flier for a “Learn To Speak English” meetup in Tel Aviv, Israel, featuring the most attention-grabbing and wholly appropriate movie reference on the subject: Attention gotten! I can’t read the Hebrew part, but I’m pretty sure this is designed teach you English. Or it might be a meetup to casually discuss the differences between Israeli and American McDonald’s, I can’t really tell. You know in Israel, they call it a “Royale With No Cheese”. The NSFW version is after the jump if you need it, motherf- sorry, sorry: (via This Facebook Page, obviously)

The internet is such a vast vacuum of opinion and information, many times it feels like an endless succubus of time and energy. But once in a rare while, the winds of trend will meet in the middle of these infinite digital abyss and form something truly special. This is one of those times. Here is Lana Del Rey’s “Hunger Games” as performed by Holly Laurent. It proves a few things: 1. Almost anyone can sound like Lana Del Rey if they put they’re mind to it. 2. I want to legitimately listen to this song on my personal music listening device, and I don’t care if you judge me.* 3. A pita is a pouch of bread, but that’s his name. 4. *Of course I care. (The Fab Life has got all the lyrics, for those interested.)

Here’s a short clip of director and best-voice-ever-haver Werner Herzog just completely laying into chickens for being stupid. It is equal parts hilarious, random, and sounds automatically deep and philosophical because that’s just what you’re used to hearing in that voice (when it’s not reading vulgar childrens’ books). Chickens – prepare to be HERZOGGDEDED. Can we get this guy on the next Comedy Central Roast? “The enormity of Jeff Ross’ stupiditee is just oahvahwelming…” I deliberately avoided looking up the context for this clip, cause it’s so much better on its own. I assume it’s some weird inappropriate tangent from Into The Abyss, his crushing documentary about death row inmates and the families of their victims. (via Best Roof Talk Ever – no relation)

Here is Beyonce at the after-party for husband and baby daddy Jay-Z’s Carnegie Hall show last night. It’s the first time we’ve seen her since she “had” the “baby.” I’m kidding, of course, she “did” have the baby! And she looks stunning. It’s a look that combined some flattering ruching with a side of Tom Spanx. But seriously… did she stuff her underwear with some extra padding RuPaul style to pull of that fit mama look? I mean, I can gain 10 pounds in 2 days if the price was right. (That price being zero dollars.) In other words, let the conspiracy theories begin! HOW DOES THIS WOMAN LOOK THIS GOOD? Another photo ahead. She’s certainly glowing!

…Because we have to chase him. He’s the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we’ll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero… he’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector… a Dark Knight. Also he is a potato and you can pop his limbs off and it’s super fun. Behold, Gotham’s morally ambiguous starchy protector, The Dark Knight Spud: Intimidating! The Potato-Head-ified Dark Knight is currently selling for $17.99 online, which is a steal for something that so perfectly captures everything about the Christopher Nolan / Christian Bale Batman, right down to that cartoony diagonal smile that Batman is literally making nonstop throughout both films. Now we just need to slip Potato Head into The Dark Knight Rises and we’ve got a crossover hit: (Bleeding Cool, via The Daily What)

The front-page headline on Variety.com right now: Nailed it! Ya gotta real future here, kid…

BAFTA is an acronym that stands for The Oscars Of England The British Academy of Film and Television Arts, and this Sunday, they’ll be giving out their film and TV annual awards in London (with Miss Piggy presiding as the red carpet host). To prep for the ceremony and perfect the celebrity seating arrangement, BAFTA organizers have created a giant Guess Who? gameboard in the audience. So, for example: “Does your person have short orange hair? Yes. Does your person look like a heavenly iridescent gecko? Yes. Is it Tilda Swinton?” “Does your person have a beard? No. Does your person exude sexual lightning boats from his tip? Yes. Does your person visit me nightly in my dreams, while stroking the sweat off my forehead and cradling me close to his heartbeat, softly singing Whitney Houston’s ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody’ in my ear? Um… Is it Brad Pitt?” You get the idea! Now you play!

Readers of this blog and humans living on planet Earth should now be plenty familiar with Billy Eichner, he of Funny or Die and Fuse fame, the gentleman that screams at random people on the street, sometimes gives them money, and always makes America fall in love with him. Well this weekend, on behalf of Conan O’Brien and TBS, Billy headed over to Indianapolis to find out the general “street temperature” (not a thing) on Madonna, High Empress Of Halftime. It’s kind of a shame that these words even have to go before this video, because honestly, it’s wasting valuable blog space when really all anyone cares about is watching Billy scream at regular people, Giants cheerleaders, and eventually, SUPERBOWL WINNERS the NY GIANTS themselves. Billy Eichner is brilliant and I bet also has a beautiful singing voice. Enjoy.

I often tell the personal trainer who doesn’t come over to my house because he is fiction, “You know who I want to look like? The poster boy for the Bodies Exhibit. Lean, fit, healthy… that guy is allllright.” I then look in the mirror and realize I’ve Mrs. Doubtfired my face in mashed potatoes again and Thanksgiving is ruined. Point is, if only there was a way to look like the Bodies Exhibit corpses without actually dying in China 2,000 years ago. And now… there is. Australian clothing store Black Milk Clothing is offering up these muscles leggings for a cool 75 Australian dollars, a bargain, when you consider how expensive it is to get live-skinned these days. The best part about these leggings? They completely mask camel toe: That’s a miracle of some sort of Lindsay Lohan science. (via Buzzfeed)

As part of the resurrected “I’m going to Disney World!” Super Bowl tradition, Super Bowl XLVI MVP Eli Manning spent Monday at Walt Disney World hobnobbing with Mickey, Minnie, and a group of children. We’ve all joked in the past about how much Eli Manning looks like a large child, but these photos basically exaggerate that assertion to the point of not even being a joke anymore, as Manning appears to be the one Super Bowl winner who’d also just be at Disney World anyway. Keep an eye out for the awesome Mickey & Minnie Giants-knockoff jerseys. “Congrats on the big win, Yorktown Largies!!!” (Click Any Pic For Full Size): 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

A man after my own heart, 50-year-old Hu Han-yan in Tai Pei, is celebrating the Lunar New Year this year in a way the friendless 12-year-old version of me could only dream of: By getting Hello Kitty shaved into his head. The reason? To cheer up his elderly father (seen above, cheered.) Hu Han-yan has turned into something of a local celebrity, and had this to say to the local news: ?I feel like I?m a star now,? said Hu Han-yan, who added that he has to trim his hair every five days to keep his ?Hello Kitty? in tip-top condition. ?Next time, I might try a different iconic pattern, such as Doraemon [a popular Japanese manga cartoon character] or SpongeBob SquarePants [a US cartoon character], so long as I can amuse my father,? said Hu Han-yan. A SpongeBob SquarePants fade? Honestly, that might be too overstimulating for pops. I wouldn’t risk it Hu. Also, I’d be insane to not include the most Asian sentence I read today: Hu Han-yan has been dubbed by some local media outlets as ?a modern Lao Lai-tzu (???),? alluding to an elderly character in The Book of 24 Filial Pieties (????) renowned for dressing up as a baby to amuse his parents. Oh, sentence. Can’t wait for you to become a dream of mine in 5 months that sends me straight to therapy. More photos ahead. You can also check out authentic not-in-English video footage of these fellas here.

Every year, the Super Bowl floods Vegas with hundreds of ridiculous ‘Prop Bets’ – small, specific Super Bowl related side-bets that aren’t contingent on the game’s outcome – many of which don’t actually involve football or sports at all, other than the timeless sport of ‘Kelly Clarkson Belly Guessing’. Here, because we’re slightly more a pop culture blog than we are an NFL analysis blog (debatable), is our Official BWE Rundown of 7 Madonna and Kelly Clarkson Super Bowl Bets That Paid Off. 1. What color will Madonna’s hair be when she begins the Super Bowl Halftime show? - Blonde (1/4) - Any other color (2.5/1) RESULT: Blonde. Madonna went the safe route and just came out blonde, though the crappy 1-to-4 payoff was even worse than the odds for “Will there be a vague Egyptian/Stargate theme for the song ‘Vogue’ which is about neither thing?” 2. What will Madonna be using to start the Super Bowl Halftime show? - Headset (1/3) - Handheld Microphone (2/1) RESULT: Headset. I actually laid $20 on “Literal Silver Penis-Microphone To Generate Random Controversy Followed By Instant Color Bars And Cut To Hyundai Commercial”. It didn’t win, but I really liked the odds at 2-to-1. 3. Will Madonna be wearing fishnet stockings at any point during the Halftime show? - Yes (1/1, technically ‘bet 110 to win 100′) - No (1/1) RESULT: No. I don’t recall Madonna donning fishnets at any point, though my eyes were transfixed on that acrobatic Will Ferrell character the whole time, even the three times I rewatched the clip specifically to check on her stockings. 4. Will Madonna wear a hat at any point during the Super Bowl Halftime show? - Yes (3/2) - No (2/1) RESULT: Yes. Although technically, she was wearing a pseudo-Egyptian headdressy type thing, not really a “hat,” but if you feel like approaching a bookie and pleading your case for the technical non-hatness of golden headdresses, then be my guest and instant hero. 5. How long will it take Kelly Clarkson to sing the Star Spangled Banner (from starting note to last note sung)? - 1 minute, 34.5 seconds or longer (-120, meaning, bet $120 to win $100) - Less than 1 minute 34.5 seconds (-120) RESULT: Under. Kelly Clarkson’s National Anthem unofficially clocked in at 1 minute, 33 seconds, according to Mo. There were no odds for “Will Kelly Clarkson also inexplicably be Zooey Deschanel?” 6. Will Kelly Clarkson’s bare belly be showing when she sings the National Anthem? - Yes (3/1) RESULT: No. Vegas didn’t give people the option of betting on “No,” so this didn’t technically pay off, but it basically amounted to a very random joke at the expense of Clarkson’s midrift-defensiveness, so in a way, we’re ALL winners (except 31/32 NFL fanbases). 7. What will Kelly Clarkson wear to sing the National Anthem? - Colts Jersey (7/1) - Giants Jersey (15/1) - Patriots Jersey (15/1) - NFL shirt (2/1) - Anything else (1/3) RESULT: Anything Else. Booooooring. Although I’m kind of intrigued by the vagueness of the “NFL Shirt” option – This would’ve been an interesting insensitive wardrobe choice for the local Indy crowd. That is, if she wasn’t able to find a shirt with Chris Berman, James Lipton, and Andrew Zimmern singing in a car and confusing my parents. So there you have it. Just know your Super Bowl National Anthem and Halftime Show singers’ tendencies, and you can easily make your$elf a MILLIONAIRE$$$$!!!! Let’s start brushing up on who we think it’ll be next year. I’m guessssingggg… Bo Bice National Anthem, Uggie The Dog With Ukulele Halftime Show? BOOM – It’s Wikipedia Time. (Odds info via SB Nation, SkokiePatch, and Covers.com)

Because most of our NFL teams were already eliminated long before Sunday (The Jaguars’ season actually ended in 2008), the only genuine joy many of us could experience during the Super Bowl was the perverse but universal sports-fan delight of watching another team fail. In order to prolong this irrational schadenfreude as long as possible while also continuing to not think about our own teams’ earlier failures (this is how I remember the Steelers/Broncos game), enjoy these 12 Photos Of Tom Brady, Super Bowl Loser: 12. 11. 10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Related: The 46 Most Depressing Photos Of People Losing The Super Bowl – the fun never stops! (Pics via Getty Images)

Season 5 of AMC’s Mad Men is just around the corner, with a 2 hour premiere airing on Sunday, Mar. 25 at 9pm. And to get the hype machine rolling, stark white posters sprouted up around Manhattan subway stations with a tiny, black and white Don Draper falling into an empty abyss of white. Given that most New Yorker’s are given a fat Sharpie immediately after being deloused on Ellis Island, it didn’t take long for some artistic citizens to reimagine Don in a variety of fun, sometimes harrowing situations. Thanks in part to Gothamist for encouraging folks to post their own Don Draper Ad Mash-ups, we’ve scoured the internet for the 32 Best Mad Men Subway Poster Hacks. And here they are: 32. 31. 30. 29. 28. 27. 26. via Flickr 25. 24. 23. 22. 21. 20. 19. 18. 17. 16. via Flickr 15. 14. 13. 12. 11. 10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. via ONTD

This Valentine’s Day, make sure to tell someone you love them. And according to the high end UK department store Waitrose, you might consider doing this by saying “You C*nt.” That’s exactly what their Valentine’s Day window sign says to do, anyway. Due to a hilariously placed pillar in the way, the words “You Count” have been live-action CGI’d into the worst curse word ever unless you are Jane Fonda on The Today Show or a little girl on The Today Show. [Photo: Splash]

Here’s an extremely elaborate display of Pepsi cases in the shape of Darth Maul, partly to promote the 3-D Phantom Menace release, but mostly because it is a Star Wars thing and this is the internet so here: Unfortunately, George Lucas went back and replaced all the cans with RC Cola, but it was cool while it lasted. (albotas, via /Film)

Warning: If The Lion King is something that you still enjoy to this day, The Lion King Bounce might “Scar” you for life. Or, who knows, maybe it will enhance your future viewing experiences. Look, I don’t know you, I don’t know what you like, but I can almost guarantee that this video will elicit some sort of response out of you. “The Lion King Bounce” is a new tune by an artist named Mr. Ghetto. It’s kind of like “The Lion Theme” theme song, only with a LOT more ass. There’s so much ass in this video that it will give you asspergers syndrome. It’s safe to say that if you know someone who likes The Lion King and loves “ass,” you’ve got yourself a viral winner here.

Let’s have a frank discussion about the ads that ran during last night’s Super Bowl XLVI. In the words of any one of the Beastie Boys, they were “aight.” No shocks, no surprises, most of them were leaked online prior to the game anyway, Matthew Broderick. And really, we don’t care about serious beer commercials or ads about mid-size sedans that will make you feel like more of a man. Nope, there’s only one thing we give the merest ess about: ANIMAL ADS. There were some highs and lows, but at the party I was at, any time an animal appeared on the giant flatscreen, someone would scream “DOG AD” and the room would fall silent. The dog ads did not disappoint! You know why? Because there were f*cking awesome dogs in it, that’s why. Take note, advertisers: If you want a roomful of non-football fans who are mainly watching the Super Bowl to witness Madonna’s Halftime acrobatic dance moves to stop dead in their tracks and pay attention, PUT A DOG IN YOUR AD. (Or David Beckham.) So without further a-doo (dog joke), here are all the Superbowl Dog Ads + David Beckham and other animal bonuses. Our apologies to the Coca-Cola Polar Bears who didn’t make the cut, because, boring. 1. Fat Dog Loses Weight To Chase Fad Car. This Volkswagen ad was a real crowd pleaser, because, hello, fat dogs = where do I sign? (My petition for pro-dog-obesity.) Though my party co-horts and I couldn’t help but notice that not only does this dog lose weight, but he actually CHANGES BREEDS. That’s the power of an adorable car originally designed for the Third Reich, I guess. 2. Stubby Dog Wears Sneakers, Wins Race. You might be noticing a theme to last night’s Dog Ads: DOG FITNESS. This one wins in my book because I am an idiot who loves a dog in a sensible shoe. 3. Rescue Dog Gets People Wasted On Light Beer. While I don’t support the idea of dog beer slavery, this ad is pretty cute. 4. Dog Kills Cat, Bribes Local Idiot. Doritos will make an average man do above average lying, is the message I walked away from with this ad. 5. DAVID BECKHAM IN UNDERWEAR. I like the suggestive “hole punch” in his name. Also big ups to H&M for keeping him silent. HERE’S THE ONLY CAT AD THAT AIRED: It’s no Kitty Half Time Show, that’s for sure. AND WHY NOT? A Bonus Monkey Ad! I don’t even care, I laughed. For all these commercials and more, Buzzfeed has posted them all for your viewing pleasure.

The Voice premiered after the Super Bowl last night, and whether you’re a fan of reality-singing competitions or not, I think we can all agree that this is an image that belongs on tv always (via Muppet Madison): “The name’s Cee Lo Green – the Cee stands for ‘Cee Me Holding This Cee-at Like A Tiny Bond Villain?” I know The Voice just started, but Cee-Lo’s team already looks unstoppable. Especially when they get into Meowing ‘Silent Night’ Week, which I believe is next week. (via Pop Culture Brain)

The biggest highlight of last night’s Puppy Bowl VII (besides all of it) was the absolutely dominant performance by Aberdeen, the Australian Shepherd Mix who we already named Cutest Puppy Bowl Player. Aberdeen – who did not end up actually winning the MVP, in a highly controversial decision – controlled the same chew toy for upwards of a half hour, keeping it away from as many as a half dozen other pups at the same time and scoring multiple touchdowns including the epic one below. We acknowledge that the scoring system in the Puppy Bowl is the most arbitrary thing in sports outside of college football, but take one look at Aberdeen’s dominant puppying and agree that this, folks, is your 2012 Most Valuable Pupper:

With Super Bowl 46 looming and yet another team & fanbase about to be crushed in that deflating way that only losing a Super Bowl can provide, let’s take a brief, cathartically-sad trip through the Super Bowl depression of yesteryear with this list of The 46 Most Depressing Photos Of People Losing The Super Bowl. Behold, the singular deflation of players, coaches and fans photographed right after losing the big game, reminding us again that the pain of losing a Super Bowl may be unique, but it’s also universal. Especially if you’re from Buffalo: 46. 45. 44. 43. 42. 41. 40. 39. 38. 37. 36. 35. 34. 33. 32. 31. 30. 29. 28. 27. 26. 25. 24. 23. 22. 21. 20. 19. 18. 17. 16. 15. 14. 13. 12. 11. 10. 9. 8. 7. 6. (Technically during pregame, but had to be included) 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. BONUS: Palate Cleanser Drew Brees And His Son After Super Bowl 43: (All Pics Via Getty Images)

Well, it’s happened America!! Rolling Stone is reporting that American Idol runner-up and favorite person to drink on-camera martinis with, Adam Lambert, has announced that he is going to be replacing the late Freddie Mercury as the lead singer of Queen. Here’s what Adam had to say about the news: The intention is to pay tribute to Freddie and the band by singing some f*cking great songs. It’s to keep the music alive for the fans and give it an energy that Freddie would’ve been proud of. It’s a decision that, while surprising, shouldn’t ruffle too many oversized feather vests. Look, no one can replace Mercury, and that goes double for his mustache. But Lambert’s vocal abilities are certainly up to the challenge for Queen’s passionate repertoire. For example, 99 percent of people who attempt to sing Queen usually end the night on laying on the floor while nursing multiple burst bloodvessels in their foreheads. But Lambert is like a singing version of the chestburster in Alien. The man has no limitations. And what better way to expose his gift to his own fans as well as those of Queen’s than by merging the two? So while this news will may rub a few Queen fans the wrong way (one brings to mind Arnel Pineda, Steve Perry’s replacement in Journey), I say we should be thankful that there’s another person out there with the vocal ability required to carry on Mercury’s legend while throwing in his own unique twist. (ie Lots of exposed tongue, more eye-makeup, 3x as much thrusting.) Let’s also take a moment to remember that Lambert actually auditioned for Idol way back when with “Bohemian Rhapsody,” and did the song beautiful justice. Who would have guessed that 3 years later he’d be the LEAD SINGER OF QUEEN??? Click here to listen to Lambert singing a “Show Must Go On/We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions” medley with Brian May and Roger Taylor at the 2011 MTV EMAs in Belfast, Ireland. You can also check out Adam’s brand new music video for “Better Than I Know Myself” over at VH1 Tuner. UPDATE I: VH1 has gone ahead and DEBUNKED this rumor. You were all right, I was wrong. I guess that’s what I get for trusting the world’s most famous music magazine, Rolling Stone. You can finally go to sleep again! UPDATE II: Ahead, we have Exclusive VH1 Video of Adam discussing his collaboration with Queen. “There’s more things happening with Queen, that’s all I can say…” For those of you doubters out there. Music Videos – Free Music Videos

Are you tired of wings being way too easy to make and always tasting great no matter what you do to them? Then LISTEN UP, all of you who just yelled ‘yes’! Here’s a video of Top Chef Season 6 winner Michael Voltaggio showing you how to make his way-too-complicated version of Super Bowl wings, ?Boneless Chicken Wing Confit with Curry and Blue Cheese Disc.? That may sound complicated, but it’s actually WAY MORE COMPLICATED than you’re already expecting, to the point where the idea of anyone ever making this is hilarious: Got all that? Here’s my favorite step in the recipe: Hahaha, you got it, words! It’s basically a real-life version of Ted Allen’s Pretentious Foodie Bullsh*t meal from The Onion, only more exaggerated. (For the record, I posted this video for last year’s Super Bowl, but it’s one of my favorite things ever so here it is again. I’m just trying to help you WOW your friends at this year’s big game, by showing them this recipe so you can all be like “WOW, what a dumb waste of time!” before you eat regular wings.)

The Super Bowl Half-Time Show is almost upon us!! This Sunday, somewhere around your 1400th Bud Light, none other than the Queen of Nutcracker Arms Madonna will take to the stage to perform in front of the 111 million people watching. Joining her on stage will be Nicki Minaj and MIA, meaning this half-time show will be a great day for both women and people whose names start with the letter M (double score!!) There is already plenty of speculation of what Madonna has in store for us. Will she perform songs from her new album MDNA? Or will she take some mercy on us and perform only the classics minus anything from the Austin Powers franchise? Personally, I think I have some idea of what the Super Bowl Half-Time Show is going to look like… check out the clip ahead. Yes, the gore scene from Summer School. It only exists online in French, but really, you don’t need to know what they’re saying.

A photo has emerged of our favorite Earth Angel RuPaul back from when he was 19 in — brace yourself — 1979. (I know “black don’t crack” but this is some deal with the devil sh*t.) But when seeing his pic, I couldn’t help but notice how much dear Ru resembled one of my other favorite people on the planet, dear friend Tyra Banks. That perfect bone structure, the amazing skin… THE SMIZING I am hoping that pointing out this resemblance of these two legendary icons will further up my chances of being asked to be a guest judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race and/or America’s Next Top Model, but only time will tell. (They won’t ask.) We have a couple more side-by-sides of these two beauty queens ahead. The resemblance is untranny.